Sunday, March 17, 2019

The Eternal Bachelor

February 28, 2013

He is the type A person who has always done what he has wanted. The eternal bachelor in his thirties or forties has achieved a certain status and lifestyle where he indulges in his freedom to do as he pleases. He has created a comfortable bachelor life, resistant of change and hermetically isolated, not to allow another person in it. It isn’t necessarily that the bachelor consciously avoids relationships and marriage, but with the passing of time and he having remained single through the years, he has in the meantime created and shaped a life where he is used to doing things and deciding without thinking of anyone other than himself.

He tends to be fun-loving and often youthful in character, charismatic and sociable, the eternal bachelor is fun to be around and with him life seems exciting, interesting and fun. Consciously or unconsciously though, the eternal bachelor protects his space to avoid changing anything about his life. A woman, only one woman, taking over or causing any changes to his bachelor life of complete freedom will set the bachelor running, which is what happens when the relationship starts heading into a more serious tone. We are nevertheless attracted, magnetically attracted, to the bachelor. All the while, this unattainable quality is always so evident, not a mystery to anyone. It is clear that he doesn’t want a relationship. Even the bachelor himself doesn’t try to conceal the fact.

With the bachelor, we are, like all others, under his charismatic charm, part of which includes sharing glimpses, small vignettes of a life that manifests as blissful moments shared together albeit his resistance and bold statements about feeling free and being a non-believer of the institution of marriage. It is this duality that the single thirty something woman is unconsciously attracted to, being able to feel these short but intense moments of togetherness with the bachelor who lives by the whim of his constantly changing convictions. The woman dating an eternal bachelor will experience confusion from beginning to end, most unable to understand that there is absolutely nothing she can do about his inability to commit. His ways are set about many things, and amongst them, their inability or unwillingness to commit in the long term, mainly because they have had so many choices during this long(er) period of time being single, that now he is unable to make fixed decisions about the future. The bachelor, once probing deeper than his careless façade, is unsure of many things, afraid to take decisions, one of which is the idea of having one person, the same person, through the years to come.

The eternal bachelor tends to be a charismatic person, successful in his ventures, with many hobbies and interests that occupy his time, making him like his life the way it is. He is active and curious about the world, sociable in character and likeable most of all. Eventually though, one would have to end all contact with the bachelor in order to be able to have a relationship that holds a future to share with a willing participant. The eternal bachelor will not even process this loss for a long time, a seasoned person in breakups, whether light in tone like those of short-lived romances or a longer-term short-term almost girlfriend relationship, the bachelor is familiar with the feelings aroused by a breakup. He will literally turn the page of the book of happenings of his life, with another girl, often not too different from the previous one except for the fact that she is a different person, someone who hasn’t yet tired of the blind, temporary status of everything, almost as if both parties were together while awaiting an apocalypse because the alternative would be to know that time is wasted while there is no future together.

                       https://rufinalee.wordpress.com/2013/02/28/the-eternal-bachelor/

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