The Impaired Are Shunned

Curse of Being Elderly, Mentally
Impaired, or Physically Disabled
By John J. Suarez, Yahoo Contributor Network

(May 19, 2011) -- Few of us contemplate or even consider, much of what millions amongst us go through on a daily basis. Few of us, ever ponder what it is like to be in these persons’ shoes. Yet, most of us do live our lives avoiding, steering clear and even resent, being "rejected." Sad part of life is, that these people exists amongst us everywhere we go: The old, incapable and unable to function at what is termed, "normal."

What got me to write this article, is my long time companion and "wife." A person who knows the subject of this article all too well, for you see, she was born mentally "impaired," or what most of you would without feeling refer to as "retarded." I could say I don't know much about the subject of what it is like to be rejected simply out of people's prejudices, but I would be lying. Most of my life, I have gained attention from others though I never wished it. I have played music on my guitar and gained attention, I have gone to school and been considered a genius. Even when I went into the Marine Corps., during Vietnam, I couldn't avoid being recognized by the CO's at the Recruit Depot. Everyone likes to praise someone above the ranks of what we wish to consider as NORMAL. So for me to write this article "for" my wife is unusual, for the most part because she requested it. Requested that I publish what she endures through, and has had to endure through in her life as a mentally impaired person.

Last year we celebrated being together for twenty-five years. This summer will be twenty- "six." Odd part of our relationship, is the fact we never intended it to be a long lasting one. Prior to meeting each other, I had been a Developmental Training Specialist, along with having worked with the elderly and disabled. When I saw how people treated this person simply for being mentally incapable of fending for herself, it angered me. Angered, to the point that the relationship began to mold itself into a loving relationship. It has remained as such to this day, not out of sympathy, because of my training to understand that ANY mentally impaired person is not an object to discard out into society, but a person with feelings and emotions, too.

Being well respected, many began to see our relationship as "odd," and could not understand how I could get together with a person who was not as smart as I was, or "normal." By then, I had taken care of many persons who were elderly, and disabled, both physically and mentally. To approach a person who was used to nothing more than being shunned and rejected by people was not unusual for me but what was unusual for me to see, was the behaviors of social workers she would turn to for help, and be hurt by their actions.

Society, as a whole, has little understanding of what it is like for anyone who is incapable of caring for themselves. I have found out in all the years of living with a mentally impaired person, that not even Social Security or Social Service agencies, will take the time within its own workers to teach them to understand the very people they help. Of all the many I have dealt with, it isn't hard to understand why so many persons who are disabled in one way or another, die, are shoved aside or simply "rejected." Rejected as most of society does to that which they do not wish to deal with.

It is THIS that my wife wished for me to write about. That LOVE, PATIENCE and UNDERSTANDING, is the CURE, if only many took the time to understand that they are also human beings deserving of NORMAL "treatment." Being disabled is something no one asks for nor wishes to be, yet growing old, is a disability most will deal with in their lives, and the curse of being in the shoes of personal "need."

http://voices.yahoo.com/curse-being-eldery-mentally-impaired-physically-8504165.html?cat=9