Transactional Analysis (or TA as it is often called) is a
model of people and relationships that was developed during the [late 1950s and
early] 1960s by Dr. Eric Berne. It is based on two notions, first that we have
three parts or 'ego-states' to our personality, and secondly that these
converse with one another in 'transactions' (hence the name). TA is a very
common model used in therapy and there is a great deal written about it.
P A C means Parent Adult and Child ego states
Parent, Adult and Child
We each have internal models of parents, children and also
adults, and we play these roles with one another in our relationships. We even
do it with ourselves, in our internal conversations.
Parent
There are two forms of Parent we can play.
The Nurturing Parent is caring and concerned and often may
appear as a mother-figure (though men can play it too). They seek to keep the
Child contented, offering a safe haven and unconditional love to calm the
Child's troubles.
The Controlling (or Critical) Parent, on the other hand,
tries to make the Child do as the parent wants them to do, perhaps transferring
values or beliefs or helping the Child to understand and live in society. They
may also have negative intent, using the Child as a whipping-boy or worse.
Adult
The Adult in us is the 'grown up' rational person who talks
reasonably and assertively, neither trying to control nor reacting aggressively
towards others. The Adult is comfortable with themself and is, for many of us,
our 'ideal self'.
Child
There are three types of Child we can play.
The Natural Child is largely un-self-aware and is
characterized by the non-speech noises they make (yahoo, whee, etc.). They like
playing and are open and vulnerable.
The cutely-named Little Professor [of Psychiatry!] is the
curious and exploring Child who is always trying out new stuff (often much to
their Controlling Parent's annoyance). Together with the Natural Child they
make up the Free Child.
The Adaptive Child reacts to the world around them, either
changing themselves to fit in or rebelling against the forces they feel.
Communications (transactions)
When two people communicate, each exchange is a transaction.
Many of our problems come from transactions which are unsuccessful.
Parents naturally speak to Children, as this is their role
as a parent. They can talk with other Parents and Adults, although the subject
still may be about the children.
The Nurturing Parent naturally talks to the Natural Child
and the Controlling Parent to the Adaptive Child. In fact these parts of our
personality are evoked by the opposite.
Thus if I act as an Adaptive Child, I will most likely evoke the Controlling
Parent in the other person.
We also play many games between these positions, and there
are rituals from greetings to whole conversations (such as the weather) where
we take different positions for different events. These are often
'pre-recorded' as scripts we just play
out. They give us a sense of control and identity and reassure us that all is
still well in the world. Other games can be negative and destructive and we
play them more out of sense of habit and addiction than constructive pleasure.
Conflict
Complementary transactions occur when both people are at the
same level (Parent talking to Parent, etc.). Here, both are often thinking in
the same way and communication is easier. Problems usually occur in
Crossed transactions, where each is
talking to a different level.
The parent is either nurturing or controlling, and often
speaks to the child, who is either adaptive or ‘natural’ in their response.
When both people talk as a Parent to the other’s Child, their wires get crossed
and conflict results.
The ideal line of communication is the mature and rational
Adult-Adult relationship.
So what?
Being a Controlling Parent invites the other person into a
Child state where they may conform with your demands. There is also a risk that
they will be an Adaptive 'naughty child' and rebel. They may also take opposing
Parent or Adult states.
Be a Nurturing Parent or talking at the same level as the
other person acts to create trust.
Watch out for crossed wires. [These occur when an exchange appears to be adult-to-adult but psychiatrically is parent-to-child, so the ego states "cross" each other]. This is where conflict arises.
When it happens, first go to the state that the other person is in to talk at
the same level.
For rational conversation, move yourself and the other
person to the Adult level [both socially and psychiatrically].
References
Eric Berne, (1964), Games
People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships, Balantine Books
Thomas Harris (1996), I'm
OK-You're OK, Avon books
Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward (1971), Born to Win: Transactional Analysis with
Gestalt Experiments, Da Capo Press Inc
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete